Random Thoughts of A Mad Man

oh-godno:

ramavatarama:

waywardvagabondslilcousin:

a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption

one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan

years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal

he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”

NOOOOOOOO

I DONT GET IT????

toastoat:

PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”

rosiebeck:

nxv:

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face

breakinq:

vertical/photo blog

breakinq:

vertical/photo blog

psych-quotes:

Sleeping with a girlfriend usually ends up like this, LOL

orchid-ink:

iraffiruse:

Satisfying things

being a human is so weird

4gifs:

When airport employees get bored

4gifs:

When airport employees get bored

mad-munch:

if i were a bird

mad-munch:

if i were a bird

violettarainbow:

The Book Thief (2013)

equestrianfangirlswag:

she’s so touched for a moment

darrynek:

itshinyu:

darrynek:

why get a job when you can get hit by cars and sue the drivers 

And then you get injured and possibility die? I don’t think so.

get rich or die tryin dont you know the fuckin motto

teensquotess:

http://teenlifequotes.com/