a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan
years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal
he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”
I DONT GET IT????
PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME
how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”
I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING
i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid
I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face
If you share a bed with a girl, you can probably relate.
Sleeping with a girlfriend usually ends up like this, LOL
When airport employees get bored
if i were a bird
The Book Thief (2013)
she’s so touched for a moment
why get a job when you can get hit by cars and sue the drivers
And then you get injured and possibility die? I don’t think so.
get rich or die tryin dont you know the fuckin motto